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Post reblogged from Everything Means Something
i don’t have friends because apparently being a sarcastic asshole all the time is only ok on the internet
(Source: jamespottersexytime)
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Post reblogged from Everything Means Something
Then I remember not everyone is scared that a shirtless man and his penis will show up on their dash.
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Video reblogged from Everything Means Something[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
HAHAHAHAHA #winning
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Photo reblogged from FUCK YEAH DALE LAZAROV
Disney Princess Bears! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!
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Photo reblogged from Early Onset of Night
Tattoo artist Ryan Fitzgerald from Dayton, OH was hit with a $100,000 lawsuit last week by his ex-girlfriend Rossie Brovent. She claims that her boyfriend was supposed to tattoo a scene from Narnia on her back but instead tattooed an image of a pile of excrement with flies buzzing around it.
Apparently, Ryan found out that Rossie had cheated with a long-time friend of his, but instead of confronting her about it he acted like everything was normal and hatched a plan for revenge. Originally, Rossie tried to have Ryan charged with assault, but the ingenious tattoo artist had covered his bases by plying Rossie with wine and tequila shots and getting her to sign a consent form that stated the design was “at the artist’s discretion.”
No word from Rossie on whether the illicit night of passion with Ryan’s friend was worth it. Moral of the story? Never cheat on a tattoo artist.
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Photo reblogged from ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS
ARE YOU OLDER THAN JESUS?
No.
ARE YOU OLDER THAN PLASTIC?
Yes.
DID YOU INVENT PLASTIC?
No.
WILL YOU THROW THE RINGS FROM PLASTIC SODA BOTTLES AT ME SO I CAN PLAY WITH THEM?
Yes.
I LOVE YOU.
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Photo reblogged from ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS
STOP CRACKING WISE WITH ME, PENDLETON. I’VE GOT SO MUCH DIRT ON YOU I COULD START A FARM. IF YOU WANT TO KEEP WALKING THE BEAT AND TAKING BRIBES YOU’RE GOING TO TELL ME WHERE I CAN FIND ADKINS. THAT LOWLIFE’S TAKING THE HARD FALL AND YOU’RE GOING TO HELP ME PUSH HIM, YOU HEAR? THIS ISN’T POLICE BUSINESS TONIGHT. THIS IS PERSONAL.
NOW PAY THE WAITRESS AND LET’S TAKE A DRIVE. WE’RE GOING TO DO SOME GOOD FOR ONCE.
